I witnessed a shooting.
scream funerary screams
I run to see
stare up into the bare branches of a sunset tree fruited with grieving crows
I look for a body
I don't see a body
CRACK
a sound resonates from the house with the yard with tree of grieving crows
they take to the air
the crows
circle and yell and come back for the funeral
I still can't see the body
I round the corner for a better view
CRACK
that sound again
a tiny explosion
what is it?
and then
the bird
the body
the fall
the limp wings
the lifeless plummet to the earth below
my screams of rage
first reaction
I run toward the yard where the crow fell
stop
I can't
someone has a gun
I run toward the door of the house where I heard the sound
stop
I can't
someone has a gun
I have to protect the crows
clap!
yell!
FLY AWAY
they continue to scream
no
stop yelling
look up
repeat the image of the falling crow with a message of death in my mind
they hear me
they leave
all of them
at once.
...
I am numb.
...
Why can't I feel?
the falling body
the falling body
the calm and tranquil mind
It is illegal to kill crows
I call the police
second reaction
the calm and tranquil mind speaks
with prizewinning influence
but they've never had a call like this before
I didn't see who did it
they'll see what they can do
my legs carry me up the hill
my arms carry a little dog
whose neck carries my wet hot sobs
the third reaction
I am so weak
I want to go back
collect the bodies
can't walk
can't make it home
can't make it home
I find the park
find a dark corner
the searing sword of devastation cuts into my throat
I sway and whimper
gasp and moan
someone's child
someone's partner
someone's parent
someone's friend
strength finds me
and brings me home
home to my bed of snot choke scream writhe powerless helpless grief
...
the crow falls
over and over
forever
...
Lorena
Bo
Junior
Lod
Baby Biggie
This really happened. All of it.
This is my fourth reaction.
This is my pain.
This shouldn't have happened.
But it did.
And you need to know.
Everything in this post and (and all of my other posts) is mine (unless otherwise stated) and can't be used by anyone else unless I say it's ok.
Photos and story are great as always!
Thank you.🖤
Such an amazing collection of photos and powerful heart felt words.
Thank you so much for reading. 🖤
I love crows and have often used them in my artwork, these are wonderful shots and these amazing birds @corvidae and who doesn't love that a flock of them is called a murder?
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STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
What a desperate and helpless situation..... The scene is really sad and heartbreaking and the images as siemencantadoras.... Your crows are adorable...! A Big @corvidae.
Thank you thank you thank you for your sweet words and for reading.🖤
🤗
You captured the feelings most of us would have experienced had we been in your shoes that day. A sad and outrageous incident.
Live and let live, I say.
Thank you for sharing your prose.
Cheers!
Thank you for reading.🖤
I read this last night. I had to sit with it for a while. The way you wrote it brought me right there in those moments. Horrible. I woke up with this in my mind this morning.
Absolutely stunning photos. I just gave up trying to photograph birds seeing these. That sunset in the first one, the colours are unreal.
Beautiful post, sending 🤗💖
Thank you🖤💙
You should never give up on something based on how you compare yourself to another's work, but I absolutely appreciate the meaning behind that statement. I worked on these photos that night, after it happened, and after I talked with my crow sisters about it. Making the images of my closest crow friends as beautiful as possible made me feel like I was protecting them. The only way I could feel less helpless. Writing and sharing the experience also made me feel less helpless. Maybe it will have an influence over how someone sees a crow or any other living thing, knowing how interconnected we all are... or something like that. For the handful of people that read it.
I'm sorry to drag you into the experience with me, but also glad to know that my composition was effective. Thank you so so much for reading.
I agree. I'd say it's living in the city that's discouraged me more than anything. It's very difficult to get shots of birds here, or at least the ones I want to...like the hawks and cardinals. Part of it is that I don't carry a cell phone, so I miss many opportune shots.
Very effective composition. Btw, I'm quite happy being dragged into the experience. I'm more than comfortable with that. I'm sure, those who are open will experience this deeply. You never know who you touch with what you create, often they are silent.
I'd say you're manifesting that protection and using what you experienced, transmuting that to do so. That is the creative soul, when one can do that sort of thing. I'm not wording this the best here, but I think you get what I'm saying.
Always a pleasure to read and the photos 💖
Worded just fine! I'm glad to know you understand my digital witchery.
I live in the city, too, but it's Portland and we love our trees and "certified backyard habitats" so that makes birding easier, I'm sure. That and the generally mild PNW climate.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I like that, "digital witchery" and yeah, I get it.
I think you're most likely better situated than I am here
Jeeeeeeeeezusssss is that an iron forest?? You are very brave to live in so much city. I almost moved to Seattle when I made the decision to escape to the Pacific Northwest. Fortunately it was too expensive. It's a nice city, but Portland really does have the urban nature thing down. We even have wild humans... that's actually not meant to be funny. We have a huge population of mentally ill homeless, in part because (from what I've been told), our city is the most tolerant and the homeless "emigrate" here. Also in part because we can't/don't care to figure out a real solution. I am just as guilty of this as the next person, but am still kind to those who are kind to me, and avoid those who are threatening.
Well, that was almost a tangent. Good thing I stopped myself.
😂There's probably more plastic and glass involved these days, but I laughed when I read "iron forest"...great visual there! (around 14 million here, sigh). Definitely, you have the better location.
Interesting how homeless "emigrate" to Portland. There are a lot here, always has been and it keeps getting worse. Smart approach in how you handle them. That's the same that I do here. Size them up beforehand. I often talk to those on the street when I'm out and about, but avoid those where I get that read to not go near. I've had some great conversations and learned some things.
Not a thing wrong with tangents. A friend who does this (I do too) calls it tangential thinking. 😁
Tangential thinking!! That's awesome. Of course, my one track mind instantly read tangenital thinking. Which also sounds rad and is probably a good way to keep from getting any bugs.
14 million. Damn. Internet says Portland has about 645k. San Diego had about 1.2 million when I left nine years ago forever. Now wonder I feel like a small town girl. I am! Cool that our little tiny city did such a great job of pissing off the world's worst
presidentever.So I suppose you're a Leafs fan...
I love the way your one track mind read that. LOL! Can't fault your sense of humour! 😂
A little part of me cries at seeing such a low number. It's a constructed zoo here, probably why there's all these iron bars 😉. Small places are preferable. I've become convinced over the last several years that any big city like this is not a healthy living environment for anyone.
I'm ambivalent (worse than being a fan/not fan). Maybe it's my mindset from how I grew up, but a sport isn't a sport unless I'm actually doing said sport. So, anything that involves watching and not doing bores the crap out of me, hence the ambivalence.
I'm not sure I've even been to a city that big in my life. Maybe Paris..? But I was seven years old. Los Angeles was just north of where I grew up but it's sprawling, plus I never hung out there, just booked it through on the 110mph highway current. Since the pandemic hit and I've been traveling to only naturey spots, I've come to realize that I care very little about cities and visiting them. Although I do appreciate the concept of keeping the human mess in a concentrated area so that the nature spaces can be themselves.
I like your mindset about sports. Hockey is the only sport I watch, and when I do watch it, I tend to be actively invested. It's good cardio. But I'm a Canucks fan, almost as hard as being a Leafs fan, so I have to limit my game time so I don't die of a broken heart...
That's the best way to do a large city.
I think that's the plan. For years, I wondered why the population of Canada is concentrated in a handful of large cities. Now I see that's been by design.
I'm getting visions of hockey stick aerobics here. 😂 Limiting is a good thing in my mind, keeps it balanced.
I thought they were just huddling together for warmth. Vancouver's population is like Portland's, but the seasons aren't very extreme, either. Well, except for this year.
The hockey is more like lurching and hair pulling and yelling and congratulating Pilot every time we get a goal. One year we made it to the second round of the playoffs and by that time Pilot knew what it meant when the sportscaster said "scores." But he got confused when they talked about a guy on the other team named "Schwartz."
I still want to listen to your show. I got behind because, well, that ⬆️ happened. But I do intend to listen. Every week is it?
Maybe that's why the snow doesn't stay here anymore, too many people huddling warmly melts it away fast.
Have you booked it by Vancouver? Not sure if you've been to Canada, so that's my roundabout way of asking. They are not equipped to handle snow. When I lived there in the winter, everything closed up and shut down at a dusting of snow. This year they had more than snow dust, while my garden was still growing on my balcony.
Your description of hockey watching is so very Canadian, lol!
Thanks for taking an interest in L&P. I can appreciate how hockey happened to lag listening. Are you sure you're not part Canadian? It's every week, yes. Are you on discord?
I have been to Canada! Vancouver and Victoria/Vancouver Island. I went to the city for a hockey game and to explore, and a couple years later to Vancouver Island to get laid and also explore.
Portland shuts down in the snow, too. Well, it used to. We're getting better at it, now, even plowing some of the main roads! But we're inland. I would have expected that we would get the huge polar vortex over our salty Canadian sister city. But what do I know. All meteorological bets seem to be off these days anyway.
The listening delay was sadly, not because of hockey, but coping with the VERY BAD THING that happened, as well as some other stuff pertaining to mental health and triggers that happen over seemingly silly things that should be positive...
I think I may have been Canadian in a past life.
And yes, discord. corvidae#6189
Aaaaaand, sorry about my delayed response. I spent probably ten hours yesterday writing my blog. I had every intention to read and respond to your comments but then it was 430am and I died. Then three hours later came back to life probably thanks to Pilot working the cherub. Then went to work.
I feel like I gave birth or something.
I had the feeling you'd been north to BC, since it's so close. Good times hitting a game in Vancouver!
Why do I get the feeling this is a story I need, need, need to hear? I love the way just drop that in there, I laugh-choked. I'm curious to know if you sensed anything while on Vancouver Island, in particular, Victoria (aside from your quests, that is), or was it just a regular place with no weirdness?
I suspect you're better equipped to deal with the snow in Portland. Inland makes a difference, even a couple hours. Vancouver is more tropical, if that makes sense. There are palm trees on Vancouver Island (can't verify, been too long since I've been there and I don't remember, lol). Okanagan Valley, southern part, is semi-desert, 20 minutes drive up a mountain, in the middle of summer, from blazing hot (think of human jerky) to freezing and is that snow falling? That's kind of wild.
Let's see...triggers, mental health stuff...no explanation needed, I know how that goes too well. You know what you're doing, time out to deal with those things. I like that. The "should be positive"....yeah, I know that one too. It always makes me feel doubly sad until I give myself permission to be okay with how I am.
Test to Determine Canadianness From Past Lives
Can you say "I'm sorry" for everything, naturally flowing with it, in all contexts where "I'm sorry" isn't applicable? Please demonstrate.
Can you end verbal exchanges with all the rainbow hued alphabet intonations of "eh"? Please demonstrate.
Can you swear on your life that the above two criteria are true to the best of your knowledge? Please stay permanently flattened until you are given permission to do otherwise.
Please take your time to answer all questions truthfully and accurately, eh. If you fail to answer truthfully, a friendly intelligent dronebot will be dispatched from Canada to aboot your location to provide you with friendly personal assistance, eh. We're sorry if this is required.
That sounded like you gave birth to something. Don't worry about delayed responses. I totally get that. I added you in discord, thanks! 🤗 Hoping today is better for you. Sunshine here. Snow still here, but melting.
Probably because something is telling you that that piece of booty is the reason I'm here talking to you, now. I doubt he'll ever come across this thread, so I feel comfortable saying all kinds of horrible things like:
Hey, Rob, I'm really sorry our attempts at all connections failed due to dumb things we both did and dumb lies we both told ourselves and each other but I'm so fucking grateful you introduced me to this hive place.
I'm such an asshole, eh? Sorry.
Sun, snow, soup, and sorry. Oh hey look, you just messaged me!
😂😂😂 I'm getting a picture here. I'm thinking of things I've done. LOL.
Everyone wants to be Canadian. That's so beautiful. 😂
Fun, flow, flute, and flurry. I did indeed, 😁
🤣 aw, man. I haven't seen a fun flute in years.
It's true. And nobody wants to be an American, but they keep coming here because it pays better.🍔🌭🍕🍟
I'm thinking of a tin whistle a very simple one (always sucked at wind instruments though).
I'm half and half, but I don't think they'd let me across the border now, despite that. I see half and half, like what you put in coffee...we both have a taste of things we don't like and things we do. I'll need extra froth to blend it with though. 😂
Descends into the ridiculous.
I like half and half but the cow isn't good to me so I tried switching to the goat but still there was the bloat so now I'm on to oat
milk
yes, please.
😂😂😂 That's such a great rhyme!
Ever crack and crush but not mush, some nuts not nuts, not going nuts, not hairy nuts for milk not of the ilk of a cow left to sour.
😂 I see you roll the same way.
does dance celebrating
I used to play rhyme time with a cousin of mine and a game called words delving into the absurds little turds birds blurred memories though because I was drinking a lot back then.
LOLOL! If that's an example, wow! Totally fun silly ridiculous deliciousness.
It was a weird game. One person would start saying a word really drawn out until it morphed into another word. Then the other would either do the same to that word, or to a synonym. Sometimes it would loop back around. Sometimes it would come to a conclusion.
Saaaaaaaaaaaandals.
Saaaaaaaaanta Claus.
Saaaaaaaaaaandwich.
Saaaaaaaaaandpaper
Paaaaaaaaaaaper baaaaaaaaaag with a sandwich in it! How nice!
Not long ago I listened to (not read) a Ray Bradbury essay about writing. Apparently he used a word play technique like this to come up with story ideas.
I've never seen or heard of that before. So interesting. Writing like this is all new for me, so I know nothing about word play techniques. I think I'll have to play with this. Thanks!
I can hear an audio of the draaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwing out of words. Must have been one load of laughs.
It can be really fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking hard coming up with things but most of the time it's fuuuuuuuuuuuucking hard I mean fuuuuuuuuuuuucking hard I mean dammit most of the time it's fuuuuuuuuuuuuun.
😂sounds like......
FUN
So decisive and confident!
I have always been decisive and confident that fun is primary priority in my life.
I'm just learning that but YES.
It's always a work in process, that's what makes it soooooo delicious.
Whaaaaaaaat????? Bastards! Karma is gonna get them!
Sorry about the crow 😔
Thank you. Karma will get them baaaaaad. Of course, if they're shooting defenseless intelligent beings, karma is probably already getting them and that's why they're such a psychopathic monster. Still, let's make it exponential karma.
Mysterious, clever, and very handsome birds.