WHO IS TO BE BLAMED?
A lecture during one of my classes before going on annual recess break made a statement that stuck in my mind. The lecturer said "A LOT OF PARENTS DON'T HAVE BUSINESS BEING A PARENT". I have spent more than a little time thinking about this statement. Looking around and seeing the kind of parents our society is full of, it's enough confirmation to asset how true the statement is. The kind of kids that today's parents are raising is a sign of looming disaster for society. Most kids out there now engage in a lot of antisocial behaviors due to bad parenting. The question to ask is "WHO IS TO BE BLAMED?" As for me, I am blaming the parents. As the world is a confusing place, that's why children have parents to help them grow and to guide them on the right path to go.
John Locke opined that "the mind of a child is like a tabula rasa", that is, it's like a clean slate. Whatever is written on it is determined by the parents. Children tend to imbibe whatever they are exposed to especially in the first 10 years of their life and which will serve as the basis for their future development growth. Children imitate whatever you say, do in terms of words, behaviors, and habits.
Parents also expect their children to do what they say and not what they do. No!!! Children sense this hypocrisy and lose respect for whatever they say. Children of today are now very smart. They see all that they do and this will be imprinted in their subconscious mind. So there's a need for parents to be conscious of their actions and words. Parents should learn to be a good role models and inculcate morals into their wards as early as possible.
Another issue of great concern is how we now live in a world where parents believe once they can provide for the necessities of their children, they are good parents. Providing for your children's needs is not enough to be a parent. Checking the Nigerian setting, most do believe once someone is financially okay, he/she is capable of raising children. Parenting is much more than that, it takes note than being financially capable to raise a child. You all worry about being and acting like a parent more than being your child's friend, mentor, and guide. You all need to learn to be a "friend who listens and doesn't judge" your child. Someone ready to guide them in crossing the milestone of life. Parents also need to learn to respect the opinions of their children.
Something I noticed is every generation of parents seems to be more and more lenient with their children because they don't want to raise their children just like they were raised. I understand the fact that you don't want your children to pass through the same thing you passed through. But it takes a walk down memory lane, a parent in the 80s and below tends to raise more responsible children than modern parents. Even though some of their parenting skills might be bad yet it turned out to breed children that are morally upright and responsible. Let's take some lessons from them. Extract the good part of their parenting skills and discard the bad ones.
Never forget that parenting is the act of preparing your children to be adults of tomorrow. Good for society, for your family and themselves.
Yes. You're right. Parents do neglect their duties. But I disagree with blaming them. A Child's actions rest on the shoulders of their guardian till they turn 18. Infact, most kids decide to make their world at 15. It's not the parents fault. Sure, kids go through programming stage and imbibe certain characters, but they are also human, they have a choice don't they?
We can say "it's because they see their parents do it", but is that really true? Even if they see their parents do it, they'll meet people who'd tell them it's wrong. I totally believe that parents can't be blamed in the outcome of their kids, at all. The children pick paths and they decide to follow but as they mature, they should be able to tell, what's wrong and what's right. My own small input. Don't mind me...😂
It all depends on your perspective. And I know all the blame cannot be put on the parent's side. The child also has a role to play
True. Perspective. I like that
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These things are easier said than done, many parents actually try but it is not easy. It is more about striking a balance, you cannot be too hard or too soft on the kid, striking a balance is not the easiest thing in this life but you can only try.
Yes, striking a balance is very important, or else you would turn your child against you.
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