Viva La Evil

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All my life, my dream had been to take over the world and rule it with an iron fist. I wanted to be feared by all, not just by people but also the birds in the air and the trees in the jungle.

My name would be mentioned with such fear and trepidation, in fact, some would never be able to mention it. I wanted to be so powerful the world would simply cower at my feet. I just wanted to be the greatest villain of all time.

And sadly, I’ve been making a bad job of it.

I was born into a family of superheroes. And for as long as I can remember, they’ve always been saving the world. And I’ve always been the black sheep. At the age of eight, I realized that instead of saving the world I could simply own it. That way everyone would do what I wanted. After all, if they did as I wanted then there would be no good or evil. Just people.

The first time I tried to be a villain, I was nine. And it was something simple really, to steal candy from a baby.

Yeah, babies were cute and innocent, which made my scheme the most evil. But that was my plan right? To be evil. The operation was successful. While at the playground, I approached an unsupervised baby in a stroller and took the candy from it. And as it began to cry, I hid behind a tree, looking and sucking with relish on the candy as the cries of the baby began to attract people.

Villainous act, accomplished.

And it was at that moment everything started to go wrong.

Soon after licking the candy, I fell sick and had to be hospitalized for days. It was only the fact that I was a superhero that I survived it. The doctor said I had been poisoned.

“Poisoned?” I echoed, shocked as I sat beside my mother in his office.

“It’s a miracle you’re even alive.” The doctor replied.

That was when I realized that the candy I had stolen had been poisoned. And by stealing it from the baby, I had saved the young one’s life.

How the hell could I fail at something as simple as that? And to make the matters worse, I investigated further and found out that the baby had been abandoned at the playground by it’s caregiver.

By wanting to do evil, I had ended up doing good. A whole lot of good. And I didn’t like it at all.

Another time, when I was sixteen, a young woman had spoken rudely to me. I felt insulted and to teach her a lesson, I kidnapped her two year old baby girl and dropped her off in an orphanage.

And once again, my evil deed backfired.

The orphanage conducted their investigation and found out that the rude woman was not the real mother of the baby girl. But a nanny who had run off with her charge some time ago. She had been on the run from the law ever since.

Now, not only did I save a toddler’s life, again. I also put an evil person behind bars. What kind of evil genius rises by thwarting the evil plans of other evil geniuses?

These acts were making me look good and I didn’t want to look good. I wouldn’t be able to own the world by being good. Good got no one anywhere.

I kept trying to be a villain and I kept failing at it. I always ended up helping society. And my family kept on thinking I’m just like them.

And then, I finally decided to come out of hiding and let the world know I was different. I would show everyone I was a villain and get it all done with. No one would mistake me for a hero anymore.

To achieve this, I chose to rob a bank. I planned it meticulously, complete with my entry and exit plans.

And the operation went smoothly. I carted away millions of dollars in cash, enough to fund my evil enterprise. During the robbery, I had made sure I was caught on camera, so no one would doubt my actions or misinterpret my motives. And the next time they saw me, they would pee in their pants.

And like every other time since I was eight, I failed woefully. And this time, I did it on the grandest scale. And I had found out in the worst way possible, on the news.

I had watched as the executives of the bank were led out in handcuffs, and the reporter giving chilling news. It turned out that the bank was only a front for illegal schemes. They used it to launder huge amount of government money meant for the people. Many of their clientele included government officials, top business men and even religious leaders. This act had been exposed when the police had been investigating my robbery. And to cap it all up, the video of me robbing the bank leaked out.

Although that had been my plan, but that was not the way I wanted it done. Now people saw me as the hero that crippled an international crime syndicate. To them I’m a good person just like my family. No one believed me when I said I had never planned to expose those people. Why on earth would I do that when I could use them to my advantage?

And finally, I had no choice. I gave up. No doubt the hero gene in me ran too deep for me to be a villain. Even when I set my mind to it. I’ll forget about being evil and join the rest of my family in saving the world. Hell, it could be my destiny.

Especially now that I had realized I was too good to be evil.

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_{The end.
Image by Marjan Blan
Thank you for reading.}

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_{Feel free to contact me via my Discord handle below:}
brunokema#1355