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Hello everyone, how are you doing today? Hope everything is going well for you?

I will be talking about the topic of the day, one which affects us all in one way or the other. And that is the Traditional wedding ceremony.

I am an Igbo boy, and so far I have only been opportune to attend the wedding ceremonies of Igbo people like me. The most recent of which was my elder sister’s.

Marriages are considered to be a big deal because it is seen as a merging of two families and the creation of a new one. The man and woman will leave their respective families and build a new home together. Because of what this entails, there is a lot of processes this entails but it can be simplified into seven steps.

Knocking on The Door (First Introduction)|| Iku aka n’ uzo.

This is the part where the family of the groom visits the family of the bride, letting them know that they have an intention to get marry their daughter. Here, the head of both families usually do most of the talking. In the event that the father is late, it will be done by the eldest male in the family.

Family Background Checking || Iju Ajuju

This is the part where the family of the bride will run an investigation into the family of their intending inlaws. This is to avoid any trouble in the future. They will find out if the family has a good reputation, if terminal diseases run in the family if they are peaceful or trouble makers. In the event that the family does not like what they discover, they can call it off.

The Follow Up Visit || Ihu Isi Nwanyi

This will be the second time the family of the groom will pay a visit to the bride’s family. Here they will talk about the bridal list. Which will consist of a list of items that the young man will have to provide if he wants to be considered to be eligible to marry their daughter. Usually, this list also includes items for the other men in the community (Umunna), the women (Umunne), and the youths (Ntoro obia) as well.
On this list, you will find items like tubers of yam, bags of rice, handbags and the list goes on and on.
This list differs from each community though.

The Dowry Negotiations || Ego Isi Nwanyi

Usually, there is no set amount for the dowry. The two families will meet and discuss this. It is a form of negotiation that is meant to leave both families in the best moods, after all, is said and done.
Although these days, it is also added to the bridal list so the groom prepares for it as well.

The Traditional wedding Ceremony || Igba Nkwu

This is the highlight of the entire thing. Friends and families are invited to witness the merging of the two families. It is the only part of the entire process that can be attended to by others. It includes a lot of food and drinks, with beautiful dresses and music. And where there is music, you know there will surely be lots of dancing as well.
It takes place in the house of the bride. And the arrival of the groom is treated with a lot of fanfare.
Soon after, the bride is given a cup of wine by her father (or eldest male in the family) to go and search for her husband in the crowd. When she finds him, she gives him the cup and when he drinks it, it is seen as a sign of acceptance. She then takes him to her father who prays over them both.
And like that, they have been joined. They are now man and wife.

New Home Sendoff Gifts || Idu Ulo

Here, the new couples are showered with gifts by the family of the bride. These gifts depend largely on what the family can afford and there is no limitation to what can be given. These gifts are used to see her off to her new married life.

First Visit the Newly Weds Home || Imata Ulo Di

This is when the family of the bride pays their first visit to the couple’s new home, usually after they are back from their honeymoon.
It is a practice in Igbo land that the parents must know where their daughter lives, just in case there is an emergency. It is also to confirm that she is truly happy in her new home.

In Conclusion

Getting married, especially to an Igbo lady is no easy feat, the process is long and everything has to be done with care. These days, getting married gets more and more expensive, that a lot of couples are living with kids but nothing has been done. Whether traditionally or legal.
It is not easy, nothing that is good ever is. But when the right thing has been done for the right woman, you can sleep with peace of mind, knowing that you have married a gem and she is all yours.

Thank you for reading, till we meet in my next post.