"The Only Sister You Have"
My relationship with my sister has always been far from perfect, and I attribute a lot of it to jealousy on her behalf. The older sister to a sibling who has always been "smarter," "prettier," "more popular" than her...
I believe me having children, while she has remained childless, was the straw that broke my sister's back...
Everything had been going fine over the course of a year. My husband and I just had our first child together, a daughter named Kiva. My sister and I were messaging one another on a regular basis. She drove and only worked half an hour away, so my sister would stop by to visit us all. Our whole family had just celebrated Thanksgiving together...
I had excitedly messaged my sister a few days after the holiday. I had just launched my very own YouTube gaming channel and shared my first video with her, asking for her support as my big sister. I received no response when it typically only takes her an hour or two to reply -- she even texts on the job! 😬 The next day, upon saying, "Okay thanks, I guess," my sister immediately liked my comment.
Not long afterwards, my husband and I were blessed with Unexpected Pregnancy #2. I do not even remember if I received a congratulations from my sister that time. If I did, it must have been passed on via our Dad, for I have no messages saved from her. I gave birth to a second daughter; still, not a peep. Our youngest is almost 1-year-old, and my sister has still never met her. I made her a birthday photo album, full of 70 photos from our childhood; I received a thank you.
I don't bother entertaining this behaviour. Again, our relationship has been far from perfect, and the last time my sister decided to hold a grudge against me was because I didn't take her advice for my previously abusive, drug-addicted relationship. I told her that I was alone, terrified, and addicted to crack-cocaine, and my big sister left me to fend for myself because I didn't immediately break up with my boyfriend and travel 3,000km back home, by myself.
So I did not hear from my sister again until over a year and a half later, when she has a new job as a radio host and wanted to share her National Sibling Day message with me. She basically shared some fond memories and said she is so proud of me... to a bunch of listen-in strangers...
Welp, I figured I wouldn't get this opportunity again, and if my older sister couldn't be man enough to tell me what had happened between us, I would simply have to ask for the answer myself...
And my sister decided to blame our fallout on my "weed smoking," something that I have not talked about, something that she has not witnessed in years. Not only that, but she's moving to England for some man and will not be present in her nieces' lives, regardless.
So I don't think that I'm wrong for assuming that she is obviously lying, right?
Again, I cannot be bothered. To be too cowardly to communicate what is troubling my sister is one thing, but to fucking blame me for her fucking shortcomings? If she wants to have children, then go and have children! The only thing that is preventing her from doing so is the fact that (she needs a man to make that happen, first of all) -- but because she "has" PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), which in her case would require her to lose almost 150 lbs. of fat, stop eating shitty microwavable garbage, and stop being a fucking victim of her circumstances.
Oh man your sister sounds a lot like family that I’ve got. The world is their enemy because others have succeeded where they have not yet found their footing. It’s really stupid but you know what I said years ago? Fuck it. If they are going to be petty pieces of shit, let them. They are the ones losing out not me. I feel bad for their child-like behavior but we are adults, grow a pair and get on with it.
I think you are likely going to have to do the same with her - the more you try the more she wins at this feeble child behavior. It hurts for the kids sake believe me but it’s for the best. Some of my family members haven’t seen my son in so long it’s pathetic but I can’t force them to be an adult so I say fuck it, let them suffer.
Sorry to hear that your sister is an idiot, but sadly there are lots of people like this.
I never care about the adults in the situation. Like you said, it's their life and they need to be the ones to make decisions to change things.
My heart breaks for our girls. They are the sweetest, most loving, funniest little girls anyone could ask for, and the fact that grown adults choose to neglect them for their own selfish reasons is disgusting. They will never meet their aunt because she'd much rather get dick! They will never meet their great-grandmother, a woman who has miraculously made it to 95-years-old but has isolated herself away from others for the last 4 years, and possibly the rest of her natural life, because of COVID.
But like you said, I would much rather cut off the relationship than allow my children to continuously get hurt for no reason. "Why don't we ever see auntie? Does auntie hate us?" It's not fair to them
You don’t know how much this resonates with me in the situation we are in ourselves. My son used to ask when he would be able to see X family member. Then it got to the point “why don’t we see X? Are they alive?” And then it got to the point where I tell him that I don’t want to explain this to him at his current age, I can explain it when he’s older in his middle teenage years. It’s obnoxious but 150% these people are the ones losing out on the wonderful, precious little ones.
To the point even, now we are protecting the kids from these fuckers at the incredibly impressionable age they are at. I don’t want to taint the pure river flowing from the mountains intentionally because of “family” is one of the ways i think of it. Other people may by random chance in public but it’s our duty as parents to protect them in reasonable ways, while still letting them experience and enjoy life. There’s plenty of time when they get older for the ugly shit, let them enjoy a wonderful childhood as much as possible!
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