STOP THE STEREOTYPE

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The world today, in relation to how men and women perceive each other in the dating scene is appalling to me. Around every corner, there are discussions about how toxic men are and how entitled the female gender is. It's a rat race, everyone trying to see who can damage the idea of being with the other gender first.

Reading through @nonsowrites post talking about what some “Nigerian women” do despite being in a relationship. Now, according to him, it’s just bants but that is just him and some other people who take it as bants. However, the case is not the same everywhere. I see this on almost all social media platforms and it goes beyond Nigeria.

If the females aren't trolling the men, the men are doing it to the females. Now I wonder if there's already a preconceived notion about what to expect from the other person. How do you know you're not passing a wrong judgement based on what you think their behaviour is.

When there's no mutual respect between both genders, how do we expect to peacefully coexist when it comes to relationships? Most people are just waiting for that one person who'll come around and prove them wrong, but they don't give people a chance, also, not everyone has that time.

Before Nonso and I started dating, I wasn't actively looking for a relationship but it wasn't because I didn't rate Nigerian men or men in general. As a matter of fact, I had men in my circle whom I wouldn't mind dating, not because I was desperate but because they'd make a fine spouse.

Of course, I am aware that some men ain't shit but will I go about my life looking at every man like that, of course not. It's the same way I know some men are abusers but my father has never laid a finger on me, so I know there are younger generations who don't abuse their spouses.

It makes me feel some type of way when I go on social media and see a gender talking about the other one in absolute disgust and they include everyone in that particular generation in the narrative. Yes, the guys you've dated in the past were scums but not all men are like that.

Sometimes these said people that are talking are the ones who encourage that behaviour. Nigerian men are attracted to women with big asses and fronts and when they find out the woman they spent all their money trying to get doesn't have sense like that, they start comparing her to every other girl on the street. The same goes for the women.

I have never been in support of generalizing a statement, you may not mean everyone but it sends the wrong picture. In the same way, we don't like it when they say all Nigerians are fraudsters because some of us are pretty honest. Is the same way the statement all men are scum or all women want is money irks me.

The reason the dating scene in Nigeria is a mess now is that nobody wants to trust the other and everyone wants to be the one to dish out the "breakfast", not the one who receives it and that's how you lose good people. People want to take out past traumas on their present partner.

All I'm saying is to keep an open mind. People aren't what they seem and deep down you know everyone is not out to get you. Do not relate a particular behaviour to a general group of people. It makes for healthy relationships.

Thanks for stopping by ❤