DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE AFRICAN SOCIETY
One thing common in African society is the need for people to tell women to endure hardship in marriage, while the husband gets away with whatever he wants.
I have a friend whom my heart bleeds forever since she disclosed to me her ordeals. She is a really sweet person and one of the closest person to me. Although she is older than me she treats me like a friend and a sister. She cares for everyone around her and does her best to ensure everyone is treated fair.
Tell me how does someone like that not deserve all the good things in life? Presently, I am aware that she is married to a very toxic person. He is a narcissist, controlling, abusive, manipulating, basically a walking red flag and for obvious reasons, she feels trapped.
Sometimes when she feels like talking a bit she tells me a little of what she goes through and I do not need a prophet to get the full picture. Some days when we meet she is moody and I can immediately tell the husband has done something. I knew her before she got married and I have watched her self-confidence go from a hundred to zero.
Now, the issue I have with all of this is the fact that everyone in her life, I mean those that she can honestly open up to and talk about her situation will always tell her "you have to do what he wants, he is your husband and you must make him happy". Nobody cares about her happiness or if she is being treated well by someone who is meant to love and protect her.
This is not peculiar to her alone as you can see this in various households in African society. The man is allowed to get away with any behaviour while the woman is told to make her husband happy even when she is being treated like a slave until he kills her of course, then everyone says "why didn't she leave".
Don't get me wrong though, this is not to say only men are the problem. It's more of a society thing. In African society, the man is allowed to have extramarital affairs with little or no consequence but if roles are reversed the woman is sent away and becomes the talk of the town. Even, In my culture, the man can cheat but if the woman does, then her husband/son will die which will ultimately mean her death too.
I feel like the African society can do better and stop enabling these behaviours. I once told a guy that my partner cooks for me and he told me my partner is a "coward, a man is the Head and he should never cook for a woman". In African society when a man respects and treats his wife properly everyone will say she is using him, it is indeed irritating.
I hope the next generation of men and women do better because this is no way to move forward as a community.
Thanks for stopping by❤
Hello teammy, hope your day is going on well? Stopped over to encourage you. Best Wishes
Thanks dear
I really hope, that Afrika and other continents of this earth will overcome all these facts. In Europe we still have the problem, but on a lower level. A woman who really wants to go her own way has posibilities to go that way, although sometimes they dont do and stay in destroing relationships, wich is so sad.
A women always has to have the same rights than a man.
The only way to make this happen lies within the way we educate our children I guess. So the change may come with the next generations, but to make this come true its the actual generation who has to change something.
How about your last challenge day? I hope you reached your STAR :-)
@dreemport sent me
What a toxic relationship,
One no woman should be sef.
Honestly am tired of seeing women suffer from different kinds of abuse all in the name of Marriage.
It's not what marriage is meant for.
Imagine....
There are many men out there who still have this kind of mentality..
Very very bad..
You have spoken well dear.
I hope we get better too.
In a way, they have been made to think that one must suffer in marriage and endure whatever comes even when it may lead to the loss of life.
I have met quite a few and I have also met men who were raised to be perfect gentlemen, I think we as women also have to decide which one we want to settle for.
Thank you for your comment!
That's right, we cant just settle in with any man because he has professed love.
We must know what we want and go for it.
We can't settle for less.
Hi blezyn,
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I feel so sad about all these..Your friend really need to get out of such relationships except she wants to keep enduring instead of enjoying her marriage.
Why do we even have such mindset that men can't cook for their wives? Why do people see men who cook for their wives as cowards?.. We really need to change our mentality if we want to grow pass this. God help us..
How's your dreemport challenge going? Hope you are on track? This is the final day, make sure you get the star.
She is contemplating leaving him and I am not discouraging her one bit, I think that is the best thing, there really is no point when the other person doesn't value her.
I think it is men who are not comfortable in their masculinity that think that. They feel acting superior will make them superior. IDK.
Thanks for the encouragement I am working on getting my goal for today.
I'm glad she ready know what to do. I hope it doesn't lead to something serious before she leaves.
And any man who feels the best way to show they are man is by beating up a woman, then such person isn't a man at all.
I'm glad you are encouraged. Hope you were able to get the star?
The African society is an enabler of these bizarre cases and like you said, the next generation has to do better.
Nice entry!
This is all we need to know.
Thank you so much sweetheart for these words, I hope they bring life to those who are facing this ordeal in their relationship.
Hope you're reaching for those stars dear, it's the last day so let's give it all we got, no room to dull😎😎.
Came via Dreemport.
I hope so too. I wish everyone going through situations like this finds the courage to leave.
Thanks dear. I am definitely reaching for the stars.
I hope so too.
That's the spirit dear, I'm almost done with mine, all the best with yours.
Instead of the 'next generation', I reckon this current generation to start applying the same rule to everyone. There should be no exception to this.
A marriage or relationship where a man/woman is turned into a slave is not a joyful union in my book. We've all got to do better.
Thanks for sharing this on DreemPort.
When I say the next generation I mean those of us that are still in our early years because let's face the fact, the older generation doesn't want to agree that they may have gotten it wrong.
Exactly, it's supposed to be two people who come together to work as equals. There's nothing joyful about being treated like a slave.
Thanks for stopping by❤
I got pissed off just reading this and thinking about the recent happenings in our country Nigeria, so sad that women are dying in silence because of the norm our culture has created... Well, I refuse to be one of those women (Lemme start from myself)
Nicely written dear, I hope you're in for getting your last gold star... We got this 🌟💪
Exactly, I think it starts with us setting boundaries on what we will allow and what we won't and anyone who genuinely love us will not put us in a difficult position.
Thank you for your encouragement, I will surely get that last star
True my dear, I hope every lady stands for herself and not let some guy walk on her.
I got my star, made my post and I'm done with the challenge.
That's great. I'm glad you made it to the end
Well, I do all the cooking for everyone in the house. I guess I am a coward somehow. Haha.. Coward? That doesn't even make sense. Some dudes need to get with the times.
I know right! I didn't try to help him change his mind because there was no point in doing that.
I feel like it has something to do with how some people are raised and the fact that they don't seek knowledge or forget that they need to unlearn and relearn some things.
Thank you for your comment.
It's really disgusting when some people refer to guys who took out time to care for their women as cowards or fools. Does it mean they should not care for them again? Women are really put all blames on and it seems our world is just to suffer in the hands of cruel men and all they would say is to endure till we die? No way! We have to speak up and say no to any kind of abuse because we are valuable and precious.
How is your last challenge going? It's already ending and don't be tired so you can get all gold stars 😍
Some see those types of men as weak, because they believe it is not normal to treat your lady with respect. I am happy that women are beginning to demand to be treated right. I love to see it.
Thank you for the encouragement. I am working on getting my last star.
Some see those types of men as weak, because they believe it is not normal to treat your lady with respect. I am happy that women are beginning to demand to be treated right. I love to see it.
Thank you for the encouragement. I am working on getting my last star.
Great! Women needs to speak up and fight for their rights so they aren´t ruined in the end.
Unfortunately it is not just African society that is like this.
It really irks me, we are all equal, all citizens of this world.
There is no difference, man woman black white we all should be treated equally. I love cooking and have no problems cooking for my women. Am glad you think it should change.
Perhaps I am different as I have made my hats and am equally at home in the kitchen or on the football pitch haha
How are you today blezyn, have you completed your tasks, I did none yesterday but am making up for it today:)
You are an awesome dreemer and I hope you have a wonderful weekend,
Let's finish the challenge with a flourish for Friday, don't forget to exercise today and have your quiet time for you and in the meantime..
This right here is what people forget sometimes. Everyone should be treated equally, in every way we deserve to love and respect each other. The world would be a better place.
hahahaha, your kind is the best there is. Being comfortable with every part of you regardless of what and how society thinks it should be is the best.
I have been a bit slow today but I am trying to make up for the lost time. It's sad to see you did none yesterday? what happened? and I like that you are getting it today, let's finish strong
Exactly 👏👏👏
My yesterday was watching football, and it was amazing!
Well done on completing the challenge, you were a star :)
Thank you!