LIVING WITH ADHD IN NIGERIA

They call it ADHD but I don't like to call it that. Maybe because it makes it sound like a medical condition. I've always thought my anxiety issue was as a result of my personality, like I'm just a person who get overwhelmed easily. I'm just a person who feels too much.

What made me realize my anxiety might actually be more than what I thought was when I watched a movie about ADHD. I have forgotten the title of the movie, I would have told you. The way the movie related to me had me scrolling through Google for hours trying to understand ADHD. Before watching the movie, I only heard about it, I never knew what it was.

Honestly, the first I researched about ADHD was the last time I did. Its quite scary to know what I have is more than just "anxiety". The thought of it being a medical condition makes me feel like I am not normal. That is not a good feeling. Or maybe it's the Nigerian in me that doesn't want to believe in mental sicknesses.

You probably are just hearing about ADHD. You probably might have gone to quickly google it before you got here, lol. For those who didn't, I'll just brief you about what it is.

ADHD means Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder . It is a mental health disorder that is characterized by difficulty in paying attention, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. It causes one to have difficulty in school performance, at work, with handling relationships.

ADHD has no prevention or cure.

I could go on and and on about what living with ADHD, especially in Nigeria means but I'll just sum it down to two words.

"Too much".

It's like everything you feel is doubled, everything you do is "too much" for everyone. The brain is always overworking, overstressing, overthinking and sometimes it becomes so much, your body reacts to it. Breathing problems, shaking from anxiety and so many other things. It is a lot. You could google about it to see more.

and no one in Nigeria believes it exists. in Nigeria, we don't really believe in mental illness. So I really suffered a lot of talk about my character and how I react to things. At a particular point, it felt like I was two people because sometimes it just comes and it blows up and then when it goes down, it's like another side of me. My mother used to pray for me when I was younger..hahaha. It was quite a lot. I think growing up numbed it a little because I became less physical in expressing myself. So it got better, I guess.

I hate having ADHD. I always mess things up and I hate myself doing it everytime. I don't even mean to do it. I forget things so easily. I always have extra energy inside me that just needs to be released.

I think I have a little doze of ADHD though because ADHD can be very severe. I mean tourette syndrome is one of the worst cases of ADHD.

I could go on and on about this. Writing this took me days. Another bad side of ADHD is the inability to complete tasks. I think I'm proud of myself for doing this one. Finishing this. If you want to know more about ADHD, just do your research.

I have always hated why I act the way I do.

"Too much"

Now I'm learning to love it. it's me. Whether it's a disorder or not, it is what has made me ME and I won't hate me. I will definitely get treatment when I can but till then....

Hi, my name is Ifeoluwa and I am a Nigerian girl living with ADHD, a mental disorder that has no cure.