Greetings Hivers, welcome to the Weekly ASEAN Hive "Hot Goss", where I @justinparke dig up false ASEAN Hive rumors and spread even more, but all in satirical fun and support of Southeast Asian content on Hive.

♨️ WEEKLY ASEAN HIVE "HOT GOSS #57 🤫

👁️ Eye-Gouging Festivals, VIP Access, & Dangerous Bars 🍸

^{February 28th, 2023
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     Malaysia's annual EYE-GOUGING FESTIVAL is a strange cultural tradition, and it's not well-known outside the country for obvious reasons. Each year droves of parents take their children to a local eye-gouging expert to keep this tradition alive.

     When children are gouged in the eye once a year, they remember to respect their elders and also how precious the gift of sight is. After about 20 minutes of pain and watery eyes, children are taken back home and asked to explain what they learned from the experience. If no lessons are learned, the ritual is repeated each year until the stubborn child learns something.

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     In other news, a HIVER'S MOTHER WAS GRANTED VIP PRIVATE ACCESS TO A LOCAL FERRY. This particular mother is locally known for being one of the toughest food critics in all of Malaysia, and because of this the local ferry cleared its entire schedule for the day to allow her to travel privately in VIP style.

     The above waiting room is normally full of passengers, but on this day everyone was kicked out to make way for this Hive-adjacent mum. For now everyone is still awaiting to see if this top-notch food critic will dabble in the world of transportation reviews, so stay tuned....

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     Have you ever seen a BAR RUN EXCLUVISELY BY MONKEYS & TIGERS? This is a real experiment taking place on a remote island, once again for obvious reasons. Daring drinkers have made this place famous because you are just as likely to sneak free drinks as you are to be mauled by a wild animal.

     All visitors must sign a waiver before setting foot on the island, but this hasn't stopped adventurous travelers from coming in ever-increasing numbers. If you wondered how tigers could even attempt to make cocktails, they don't because they have no opposable thumbs. Monkeys take care of the bartending and the tigers wait tables.

Until Next Time ASEAN Hivers....

     Don't forget that this curation is merely fictional satire, so don't take anything I write too seriously.

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