Source: pixabay by rickey123

Greetings to this beautiful community and to all those who contribute their experiences, especially regarding this topic of the initiative of the friend @parauri: "The need for NO". When I saw the topic I thought that only parents could participate, but when I read it I was glad that there is a space to express our feelings as children. I recognize that parents now have a lot of work to do with education, because children develop in a world that urges immediate gratification, self-centeredness and selfishness. This environment does not help children to think about the positive aspects of their parents' education and most of the time they "replicate" the NO of their parents. That is why you see children frustrated, full of anger and even become violent against parents. I have seen that they even want to prove that they know more than the parents... and that attitude has nothing to do with the children of a few years ago.

A few days ago my husband and I commented on a piece of news we saw on the networks, about a boy who killed his mother for not buying him a toy... awesome! I don't know if this used to happen before and we didn't know about it because there were no cell phones available for everyone or so many social networks, but it is really awful. Unfortunately this is what comes with pleasing "everything" to children and then when they hear a "no" to their wishes, it is the end of the world for them, they do not understand it and become rebellious. And I don't have a case far away, my neighbors have a child who always throws tantrums, there are so many screams that the whole street knows about it, and it is when they don't please him in what he wants, he goes over the others, he doesn't respect his siblings and yells at his mom.... Imagine that! A few years ago just raising your voice was already a lack of respect, so yelling at parents was an offense that was paid dearly, hahaha... but it helped us to be respectful and it is something to be thankful for.

Sourcee: pixabay by Macmao

In my case, as a child growing up in a modest family, where money was neither spare nor wasted, we got used to hearing the NO. As my parents took God into account in our upbringing, they tried to make us understand why they said NO for an answer. Of course, they adapted to our age. Sometimes it made me angry to stop going out or to have limits on hobbies or fun, but then I understood the benefit. Once I wanted to escape to a concert with a friend and my mom didn't let me go to her house that day...I was furious. But the next day this friend was in a front page photo of the local newspaper, fainted because she was suffocated by so many people and spent more than a day in the hospital. There I thought: "thank goodness I listened to mom's NO". That helped me to be more responsible and not be self-centered. It even helped me to see that this was for my own good...but this was after a few years that I understood it...hahahaha.

I also have positive childhood memories of being patient and waiting. Once I fell in love with a doll in a store and my parents had no money at the time and explained to me that "NO" it was not possible. That made me sad and my mom told me: "everything can't be when you want it, but when you can", "surely your dad will soon do a good job and buy it for you". I was relieved and hopeful...and to my surprise I didn't have to wait long. In less than a month my dad was working for a toy company and they paid him by giving him some dolls and other toys. I was happy and impressed that I got more than I expected, for being patient and accepting the "NO".

Source: pixabay by Engin_Akyurt

Now as an adult, I see things from a different perspective. I have to say NO to my nieces and nephews and I tell her it's not easy...I understand parents a little bit, because you want to give them everything they ask for...but that's not healthy. When I see my sister disciplining my nieces and nephews or setting rules about bedtime, TV time, or if they crave something and she says NO, and I am present, I try to support her and encourage the nieces and nephews to be obedient. This way they will be disciplined and modest children, with this in the future they will become desirable and appreciated young people for God and for society. As for myself, when I hear a NO even without explanation from someone around me, I try to see the positive for myself, it is possible that at that moment they are seeing something that I am not, and in the end I come to understand the reasons. This has also helped me to be more patient, to be responsible, organized and to value what I get with my efforts in due time.

I am pleased to be able to participate in this initiative, it made me remember and appreciate unique moments of my childhood. It also helped me to see how necessary a timely NO is for a child, because their future as a person depends in part on how they assimilate it. It also depends a lot on how parents communicate it. I hope you liked my article. I would like to invite two mothers to participate in this initiative @gardenofcarmen and @marbrym. I'm sure they have excellent experiences on the subject. I say goodbye until next time. Happy day to all!!!.

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