The Worst Therapist I Ever Had

back in 2017, I started seeing a therapist for mental health issues. All I needed was medication, the clinic had a rule that to keep getting meds from the psych, I had to see a therapist. I had a therapist I liked. She understood me, she listened. In April 2018, I got a call informing me that she was leaving the clinic. May or early June is when I met the new therapist. I didn't suspect him right away, I grew suspicious of him over time.

For example, it seemed like he never listened. At the time, I was in the process of getting disability benefits since my old psych declared me as unable to work before I couldn't see him anymore due to insurance issues. I didn't develop chronic illness until a year after lockdowns.

He kept asking have I had tried applying for a job. I told him on several occasions that I went through a program that I thought would help me seek employment, but it turned out to be more for disabled folks ready to work again. ( eg disabled in a car accident and got better with physical therapy) not someone born with their disabilities thus affecting their ability to find or hold down a job.

He invalidated me. He claimed I wasn't autistic because there's "no record of it" Just because someone's disability isn't on paper doesn't mean they don't have it. long wait times, doctors who dismiss you, insurance issues, etc can all affect a person's ability to seek an official diagnosis. Also, autism assessments can have long wait times or be too expensive.

He thought having ADHD didn't affect my ability to work. While everyone is different, it could affect my ability to remember and retain info. Image forgetting something important that was due.
or if I need clear direct instructions and I fuck up because I wasn't given clear instructions.

Just because there are disabled folks who work, doesn't mean someone unable to is less than. Everyone's situation is different. Also, one's ability to work stems from more than just performing a job. If someone has accidents (fainting, falling), calls out several times a day, works slower, can't work the full shift, misses work due to appointments/hospitalizations, etc, it would be impossible to hold down a job. While content creation provides flexibility, it's hard to start making money when you don't have a following to sell something to.

If he didn't know how to help me a simple "I don't know" is better than straight up telling me I'm not autistic because I don't fit made-up stereotypes.
He claimed no one is diagnosed as autistic "late"
people are now finding out in their adulthood. It's the lack of resources that's a roadblock.
What broke the camel's back was him invaliding my vertigo because "there's no record of it" I should have walked out and called my ride back. I could have made up an excuse the doctor wasn't there and they didn't call me or they called me and I didn't get the message. I was wasting my time with that guy. It's not your place to tell someone they don't have X because they don't have the same issues as your friend Bob. Disabilities are a spectrum. A simple, "I have to google this" is better than telling someone they don't have so and so.
I never went back to the clinic. I started blogging about autism when a counselor said I wasn't autistic because I didn't fit her standards. If you have to run to Google or ask someone, that's better than telling us we don't have someone because we don't fit stereotypes. With the counselor, I should have walked out. Anyone who thinks they dare to tell me I'm not autistic is not deserving of my attention. I left the program in question as well.
This is why we need disability awareness, who knows how many people were dismissed because people don't understand spectrums. Everyones abilities are different and shouldn't be compared to your friend Billy.

I post about disability on substack
https://x.com/xaaliyahholtx/status/1865542110251823212