#KISS - A thorny issue

What is more difficult: getting someone to accept something different from what their culture has instilled in them, or keeping quiet to avoid conflict? Perhaps it depends on one's temperament. But when it comes to explaining the reasons why you have chosen to have a simpler lifestyle, sometimes there are little problems that, although salvageable, can cause some hard times.

In the area where I live, some choices and lifestyles are already shaped by culture, and anyone who seems to do something different is sure to attract attention. And I am not judging anyone, as I think that happens everywhere in the world with many examples. Imagine a hamburger bun in a triangular shape.

One of those things that people tend to long for and notice in others is the house they have. It is common to hear young people finishing their basic education being told that they should do this or that in order to get ‘a good job, a good house, a good car...’ and so on (we will come back to this later). So it seems that having a big and comfortable house is a goal that many have, and the saddest thing is for those who never had one but want to take out that frustration on their innocent children, and want them to have one.

If we are in this community it is because we don't necessarily long for a big house, we know that. But relatives and acquaintances still ask me when I will have my good house, since we still live in a small flat that is not ours. So that such comments do not create friction with those who insist unwisely, I usually take such comments as a joke, and respond with some humour to deflect the subject. However, every now and then there is someone who doesn't take it in the best way, but they soon get over it.

Also, I am one of those who want to plan the number of members my family will have. Some people think that you can only call a family a ‘family’ if it has three members, i.e. at least one son or daughter. But a marriage is a family! So, so far, my wife and I have decided to remain childless until now, and we are sticking to it.

The first years of marriage I think were the most difficult with this issue. Grandmothers and aunts were very insistent in asking us: ‘And when are you going to have children?’ Surely it was strange for them to see a young and vigorous couple not having children, since in many cases the children come before the marriage (and sometimes the marriage never comes at all). Politeness and kindness was necessary to make our case, but they usually didn't get it. But maybe that's a topic for another post.

I respect what everyone thinks about this issue and that they act accordingly. But for me, bringing a life into this world and guiding it is a big responsibility, and that's why we have this stance, which for me, is part of our simple lifestyle. While parenting is sure to bring many joys, it is also true that it brings with it some responsibilities that would have prevented us from enjoying some of the freedoms we still have.

And finally, those people who see needs where there are none. ‘You need your car, so that...’. Also: ‘You need your office so that...’ Even: ‘Your bicycle needs...’ Stop, please! Many of the things they say are not indispensable for life, I can live without them, and I don't even want them, things that even they don't have when they are older than me!

Perhaps personal dissatisfaction drives these people to easily detect what is apparently lacking in others. Fortunately, I don't have many such personal relationships any more, and that makes the matter simpler.

In short, I don't remember damaging any personal relationships by adopting my minimalist lifestyle, but I do remember a few conversations where I had to think carefully about what I was going to say before I spoke. Now that I think about it: could it be that the people I now frequent less often have been affected by my lifestyle and I don't know it? Deep mystery...

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